👶New Sibling Story
The baby is here. Everyone coos over them. Your older child watches from the doorway, not sure where they fit anymore.
What's actually happening
Sibling rivalry following a new birth is universal across cultures. Dunn & Kendrick (1982) found that 93% of firstborn children showed some negative behavioural change after a sibling's arrival — increased clinginess, sleep disruption, toileting regression, or aggression. These behaviours typically peak 1–3 months after the birth and resolve within 6 months. The key predictor of adjustment isn't whether the child is upset (they will be), but whether the parents acknowledge and validate those feelings (Volling, 2012).
What parents usually try
"You're a big brother/sister now!"
Frames the change as a promotion the child didn't ask for. Dunn (2007) found that imposed identity shifts can increase resentment rather than reduce it.
Equal attention splitting
Mathematically impossible with a newborn. Trying and failing creates guilt in parents and frustration in the older child.
Involving them in baby care
Can help — but only if the child chooses to participate. Forced involvement backfires (Volling, 2012).
What actually helps
Bibliotherapy gives the child a safe space to experience jealousy without consequences. The story character feels displaced — that feeling is validated, not corrected. Then the character discovers something only they can do as the older sibling. This mirrors Pardeck's (1994) model of bibliotherapy: identification with the character's problem, followed by catharsis, followed by a shift in perspective the child arrives at themselves. The insight isn't imposed — it's discovered.
How this story works
Bibliotherapy validates the jealousy and confusion that come with a new sibling, then models a path from 'I've lost something' to 'I've gained something' — without pretending the hard feelings away.
What your child hears
A story where your child discovers they haven't been replaced — they've been promoted. They find their own special role in the new family, and the baby becomes someone they want to protect.
When to use this story
During pregnancy, to prepare for the change
In the first weeks after the baby arrives
When regression behaviours appear (clinginess, baby talk, toileting accidents)
When the older child expresses jealousy or asks to 'send the baby back'
As a regular bedtime story during the adjustment period
After the story
The story is the beginning. Here's how to keep it going:
“What are you excited about?”
“What worries you?”
“What can you teach baby?”
Try this
Create special big kid activity/privilege
The research behind this approach(show)
Therapeutic stories for life transitions like potty training, school anxiety, and new siblings.
- Shechtman, Z. (2009). Treating Child and Adolescent Aggression Through Bibliotherapy. Springer.
- Pardeck, J. T. (1994). Using literature to help adolescents cope with problems. Adolescence.
- Heath, M. A., et al. (2005). Bibliotherapy: A resource to facilitate emotional healing. School Psychology International.