🤝Making Friends
Making friends isn't instinctive for every child. Some children need the social rules that others absorb automatically to be made visible, explicit, and safe to practise.
What's actually happening
Social narratives were developed by Carol Gray (2010) for autistic children but are effective for any child who finds social interactions confusing. Gray's research showed that children who received social stories showed significant improvements in target social behaviours. Kokina & Kern (2010) conducted a meta-analysis of 18 social story interventions and found consistent positive effects on social understanding and behaviour. Social rules that neurotypical children absorb implicitly — turn-taking, reading facial expressions, understanding personal space — often need to be explicitly taught to neurodivergent children. This isn't a deficit. It's a different learning style.
What parents usually try
"Just go and play with them"
Assumes the child knows how to initiate play. For many neurodivergent children, the 'how' is precisely what's unclear. Unstructured social situations without scaffolding can increase anxiety (White et al., 2007).
Scripting exact words to say
Can help in the moment but doesn't build understanding. Social narratives explain the 'why' behind social rules, not just the 'what' (Gray, 2010).
Avoiding social situations
Reduces short-term stress but limits social learning opportunities. Gradual, supported exposure is more effective (White et al., 2007).
What actually helps
Social narratives work because they make implicit rules explicit. Gray's (2010) format describes a social situation, explains what people typically do and why, and suggests a response the child can try. The story format adds narrative engagement to this structure — the child isn't reading a rule sheet, they're following a character who navigates the same situations they find confusing. The character's inner thoughts are made visible: 'He looked away. That usually means he wants to do something else.'
How this story works
Social narratives (Gray, 2010) make invisible social rules visible. The story doesn't assume your child knows how friendship works — it shows them, step by step, without judgement.
What your child hears
A social narrative where your child's character learns what happens in a friendship — taking turns, reading faces, knowing when someone wants to play and when they want space. The rules aren't hidden. They're explained.
When to use this story
Before playdates or social events
When your child is struggling with a specific social situation at school
When friendship patterns are causing distress
As a regular story for children who benefit from social scaffolding
When a new social environment is approaching (new class, new activity)
After the story
The story is the beginning. Here's how to keep it going:
“What do friends do together?”
“How do you know someone wants to play?”
“What can you try next time?”
Try this
Practice the suggested social strategy through role play
The research behind this approach(show)
Evidence-based stories for neurodivergent children using social narrative approaches, narrative therapy, and sensory-aware storytelling.
- Gray, C. (2015). The New Social Story Book (15th Anniversary Edition). Future Horizons.
- White, M. & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. Norton.
- Dunn, W. (2007). Living Sensationally: Understanding Your Senses. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.