🌙Bedtime Together
The day was long. They're tired. You're tired. But this is the ten minutes that makes everything else worth it — the quiet, close, just-you-and-them part of the day.
What's actually happening
Bedtime routines are among the most studied aspects of child development. Mindell et al. (2015) analysed data from 10,085 families across 14 countries and found that a consistent bedtime routine was significantly associated with better sleep outcomes — earlier bedtimes, shorter sleep onset latency, fewer night wakings, and longer sleep duration. The mechanism isn't just sleep hygiene. Bowlby's (1969) attachment theory explains that predictable, warm rituals at separation points (bedtime being the primary daily separation) build what's called 'internal working models' — the child's unconscious belief that they are safe, valued, and that the caregiver will return.
What parents usually try
Rushing through bedtime to get to their own evening
Completely understandable, but children are sensitive to pace. Mindell et al. (2015) found that the consistency and warmth of the routine mattered more than its length — a genuine 10-minute ritual outperformed a distracted 30-minute one.
Complex multi-step routines
More steps create more negotiation points ('But we haven't done the song yet!'). Simple, predictable sequences produce the best outcomes (Mindell & Williamson, 2018).
Screen-based wind-down
Screens before bed suppress melatonin production and increase alertness. The AAP (2016) recommends avoiding screens for at least 30 minutes before sleep.
What actually helps
A personalised audio story becomes part of the bedtime ritual itself — a consistent, calming experience that signals 'it's time to wind down.' Attachment theory predicts that the combination of the parent's presence, the familiar story format, and the child's own name in the narrative creates a powerful sense of safety. The story is deliberately short (bonding stories are 20% shorter than standard) because Mindell's research shows that ritual quality matters more than duration.
How this story works
Attachment theory shows that consistent, warm bedtime rituals are one of the most powerful predictors of secure attachment. The story doesn't just tell — it becomes the ritual.
What your child hears
A gentle bedtime story where your child and their favourite person wind down together. The day's adventures replay softly, and the story ends in warmth, closeness, and sleep.
When to use this story
As a nightly bedtime ritual
When bedtime has become a battle and needs a reset
When one parent is away and the child needs connection at bedtime
During travel or disrupted routines
When the child asks for 'one more story'
After the story
The story is the beginning. Here's how to keep it going:
“What was your favorite part of today?”
“What are you excited about tomorrow?”
“How does it feel to be cozy?”
Try this
Cuddle time, reflect on the day together
The research behind this approach(show)
Stories that strengthen parent-child connection through shared moments. Bonding stories are shorter (~80% of the standard age target) because attachment research shows the ritual itself drives bonding — the conversation after the story is as important as the story itself.
- Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. Basic Books.
- Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment. Erlbaum.
- Mindell, J. A., et al. (2015). Bedtime routines for young children: A dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes. Sleep, 38(5), 717–722.
- Sroufe, L. A. (2005). Attachment and development: A prospective, longitudinal study from birth to adulthood. Attachment & Human Development, 7(4), 349–367.
- Harter, S. (2012). The Construction of the Self. Guilford Press.